Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Soliloquy


I started this blog with the intent of it helping me express my own personal beliefs, as well as explore, grow, and discover along the way.  I’ve had a complete shift in worldview, and when an individual goes through something so powerful yet painful at the same time, it’s a bit overwhelming and at times quite hard to deal with.  I’d find myself just putting on that happy face, going through the motions, and not questioning or thinking too much about it all.  But recently, those feelings, that pain, that unhappiness and unsettledness, have come screaming out (literally). 

It’s time to live my life without the fear of what others will think or whether or not I’ll offend or hurt someone.  All of my basic needs must be met in order for me to fully serve others.  I have to do what is right for me to feel happy.  And sometimes that might mean offending someone or
“letting them down” and ruining the vision that they had for me.  It’s time for me to look at my own vision and pursue it wholeheartedly.  A vision that is solely created and affected by me.

All I want is to do good in the world.  And I would hope that those who’ve met me would say that  that goal is pretty obvious.  Sometimes old systems stop working and one must search elsewhere for fulfillment.  Each life is a personal journey and each person deserves to choose his or her own way.  And we should be encouraging all of those around us to do just that.

This life we live is more precious and divine than most people realize.  Many would deny that having this much personal power is possible; some would even call it blasphemy.  However, the more faith and trust you put in your personal power, the more aware of it you’ll be due to the obvious signs that manifest in the world around you.  And I have been witnessing a lot of this lately in my life and the lives of those around me.  

There’s no denying it.

When talking with my (handsome, divine, inspiring) husband about this yesterday, I was pleading, “But how do I describe all this?!  How do I explain it and help others understand it??” 

He looked me right in the eye and said simply, “You do it.  You live your life the way you want to teach them to live theirs.  And then you’ll be their inspiration.”

Lead by example.  Don’t tell, show

That means I must remain balanced and act divinely in everything I think, say, and do.

“I am a carrier of the light.  All that I think, say, and do expresses divinity.”  That is one of my daily affirmations I repeat every morning.  I need to start believing in it more and let it be obvious in every situation I’m in and with every personal interaction. 

Soliloquy – noun; an act of speaking one’s thoughts aloud by oneself or regardless of any hearers, esp. by a character in a play

I think it’s time for honesty and authenticity.  It’s time for my soul to be expressed without fear of condemnation or offense.  My soul has a voice and it’s dying to speak.  I think it’s time I let it.

So here is my Soliloquy of the Soul – my journey into myself and giving a voice to what I find.  Letting go of old belief systems and opening up to new.  And all the pain and joy that follows.

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