Releasing Negative Behavior Patterns

I’ve decided to do a little mini-series this week focusing on recognizing and releasing negative behavior patterns.  I’ve been struggling with a lot myself as I move into this new routine, lifestyle, and worldview.  Sometimes we have to consciously take the time to remember that we have the power to create whatever we want in our lives.  Therefore, there’s no need for negativity.

We often find ourselves “addicted” to negative patterns.  

There’s something that feels good about trauma, drama, and stress.  Perhaps it’s due to the high-strung, fast-paced nature of our society, but for some reason, we find ourselves craving and devouring it.  That’s why it’s hard to change the channel when The Kardashians is on.  And why we like to gossip.  And why we go through our significant other’s phone, searching for evidence of betrayal or lies.

Anger, Jealousy, Fear, Bitterness, Resentment, Sadness, Pain – They’re all negative emotional patterns that we are choosing to feel.

When we aren’t able to let these negative patterns go, they become a destructive cycle in our lives, always popping up as the roadblocks to our successes.  Most of these negative patterns are going to be so engrained within our subconscious that sometimes we don’t even realize the havoc they are wreaking on our lives. 

When we recognize that certain patterns (ways of thinking, habits, etc.) are no longer serving our good, we have to replace them with more positive habits and patterns.

This is a time when deep self-reflection and self-observation is important.  

We have to realize what those negative patterns are, observe how they unconsciously come out in our every day lives, and then do what needs to be done to fix them and stop the destructive cycle.

To do all this, you must identify the destructive cycles within yourself and come up with some personal ways to release the negative so that you can welcome and create the positive. 

For me, my main destructive cycles are lack of self-confidence (i.e. feelings of unworthiness) and anxious, stressful thought patterns.

Despite my successes and the encouragement and support I receive from others, I really lack in the self-confidence area.  I believe in myself, and I think I kick ass most of the time, but when it comes to following my destiny and having the confidence to become all I know I’m meant to become, I’m slacking a bit.  Then I deal with the almost too-humble side of me that feels I’m not worthy or deserving of all this good the universe has to offer me.  Then, I get into these really destructive, almost self-loathing moods here I’m overcome with so much anxiety and worry that it’s hard to breathe.  I deal with a lot of negative self-talk and don’t love myself nearly as much as I love others.  (Who else has these rollercoasters?? Surely I’m not the only one.)

There are different ways to handle these negative patterns and let them go.  Affirmations are probably the best.  Take everything negative you say about yourself or your situation and turn it into a positive affirmation.

“I’m such a bad friend” turns into “I give light and love to all who are close to me.”

 “I can’t do anything right” turns into “I’m a carrier of the light; all that I think, say, and do expresses divinity.”

Affirmations retrain our brains to have new thought patterns.  The more we say these things about who we are, the more they’ll start to manifest in the world around us.  We’ll eventually truly believe these things and therefore BE them.  (More on this to come!)

Converting energy is another good way to deal with destructive patterns.  All emotion and behavior is energy – sadness, anger, fear, negativity, joy, love, gratitude.  They all have vibrational frequencies and resonate within us.

When we start to feel angry, we feel all sorts of energy moving within us.  Our hearts might start racing, faces might get flushed, hands might get shaky, etc.  We’re filled with high-power energy and we might want to yell or scream or cry or throw things.  Take that energy and put it into something else.  Go clean the house, hit a punching bag, go for a jog – whatever it takes.  Don’t let all that energy boil over in anger, fear, or hate.  

All emotion is energy and all energy can be converted.  We have the power to choose the experiences we have in life.  Making a conscious effort to convert negative energy into something more positive,  you’ll be one step close to creating the life you want for yourself. 

Release destructive habits and patterns and create positive ones!

Learning to be Vulnerable to Achieve My Highest Good

I finally have the schedule I’ve always dreamed of.  I have all the time in the world to write anddo all the things I want to do.  So Idecided today was the day to write!  I’vespent the last week getting caught up on things around the house, and now I’mready!  I’m ready to write, ready toblog, ready to become the woman I want to be. 

I got up this morning feeling energized and ready for theday.  I had my coffee and did my morningreading and meditation.  I decided tostart one of my new books: Writing Down Your Soul – How to Activate and Listento the Extraordinary Voice Within by Janet Conner.  What a perfect way to start the first day ofmy new life as a writer!

Within the first few pages of Conner’s book, I washooked.   It’s like she previewed myreader’s-brain and highlighted all of my deepest desires.  She combined two of my favorite things –writing and spirituality.  Not only wouldI learn how to be a deeper, more thought-provoking writer, I would also accessthe craved divinity within me and grow as a divinely inspired being.

When I finished the first few chapters, I was ready!  I was eager to grab that red leather journalof mine that hasn’t been written in for a month and give it an update!  This journal had become my haven.  It’s the first journal that I’ve consistentlywritten in over the past year, and it’s where I’m most honest.  I’ve never allowed myself to write as honestlyas I do in this little red book.  Thus, I’venever really shared any of the writing that it contains.  Until now.

I turned to the next empty page and put the date at thetop.  I started enthusiastically, “So2013 is underway!”  I then started torecount the past few weeks in a boring play-by-play manner.  All of a sudden I stopped and literally wrote“Blah Blah Blah” in big letters across the page.

I was boring myself…not a good sign for this writingneophyte.

I then wrote, “I don’t want to write to simply record andrecount my life experiences.  I want towrite to find life-changing meaning and to share that with others.”

Then I burst into tears.

(My heart is beating so hard right now as I type this.)

For some reason, all these feelings of unsettledness anddiscontentment surfaced.  I have theabsolute, most perfect life right now.  Ihave all this free time to explore my spirituality and to write about myjourney.  I have this cute little home(literally, tiny) in the mountains, and a gorgeous husband who adores me.  Seriously.  What’s wrong with me??!

And this is what came out:

“I’m so excited to start all of this, so why am I in tearsright now?  Why do I still have thisindescribable feeling of discontentment? Why do I want to just burst into sobs and throw this journal across theroom?

Am I still full of fear? Am I afraid to speak my mind?  DoI just not believe in myself?  Why iswriting so painful sometimes?  SometimesI feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. Who am I to write and teach?

Oh, that’s right…because it’s my destiny.  But that means I have to make myselfvulnerable, and that’s excruciating for me.”

Then I did burstinto sobs.  (But don’t worry, the belovedjournal remained intact in my lap.)  Isat and sobbed for a little while, processing everything I was feeling.  I admitted that I don’t fully believe inmyself and that I have a lot of fear about sharing my writing.  (Same with singing – I feel exposed.)  But, as Brené Brown has been teaching me, it takes vulnerability to achieve pure joy, love,fulfillment, and more.  So in the spiritof vulnerability, I was able to pull myself together and decided to pick up mylaptop and write.

 (And my heart isstill pounding.)

I’ve always felt that I had a story to share and that doingso would help others in their lives.  SoI’m going to Dare Greatly and Live Courageously.  I’m going to share myself more than I everhave before.  I’m going to (force myselfto) be vulnerable and speak from within. I release all fear, doubt, and worry. And I allow healing to happen.

It’s time for me to be the woman I want to be.  And that means putting myself out there forjudgment, criticism, and failure.

With intentions set and a purpose to fill, I set out tocreate the life I’ve dreamed of.  I holdthe power to do anything I choose, and I choose to be happy and prosperous (and a writer).

You hold that power, too, you know.  What will you choose to be today?

Love and Light,

Kim

My Soliloquy

I started this blog with the intent of it helping me express my own personal beliefs, as well as explore, grow, and discover along the way.  I’ve had a complete shift in worldview, and when an individual goes through something so powerful yet painful at the same time, it’s a bit overwhelming and at times quite hard to deal with.  I’d find myself just putting on that happy face, going through the motions, and not questioning or thinking too much about it all.  But recently, those feelings, that pain, that unhappiness and unsettledness, have come screaming out (literally). 

It’s time to live my life without the fear of what others will think or whether or not I’ll offend or hurt someone.  All of my basic needs must be met in order for me to fully serve others.  I have to do what is right for me to feel happy.  And sometimes that might mean offending someone or
“letting them down” and ruining the vision that they had for me.  It’s time for me to look at my own vision and pursue it wholeheartedly.  A vision that is solely created and affected by me.

All I want is to do good in the world.  And I would hope that those who’ve met me would say that  that goal is pretty obvious.  Sometimes old systems stop working and one must search elsewhere for fulfillment.  Each life is a personal journey and each person deserves to choose his or her own way.  And we should be encouraging all of those around us to do just that.

This life we live is more precious and divine than most people realize.  Many would deny that having this much personal power is possible; some would even call it blasphemy.  However, the more faith and trust you put in your personal power, the more aware of it you’ll be due to the obvious signs that manifest in the world around you.  And I have been witnessing a lot of this lately in my life and the lives of those around me.  

There’s no denying it.

When talking with my (handsome, divine, inspiring) husband about this yesterday, I was pleading, “But how do I describe all this?!  How do I explain it and help others understand it??” 

He looked me right in the eye and said simply, “You do it.  You live your life the way you want to teach them to live theirs.  And then you’ll be their inspiration.”

Lead by example.  Don’t tell, show. 

That means I must remain balanced and act divinely in everything I think, say, and do.

“I am a carrier of the light.  All that I think, say, and do expresses divinity.”  That is one of my daily affirmations I repeat every morning.  I need to start believing in it more and let it be obvious in every situation I’m in and with every personal interaction. 

Soliloquy – noun; an act of speaking one’s thoughts aloud by oneself or regardless of any hearers, esp. by a character in a play

I think it’s time for honesty and authenticity.  It’s time for my soul to be expressed without fear of condemnation or offense.  My soul has a voice and it’s dying to speak.  I think it’s time I let it.

So here is my Soliloquy of the Soul – my journey into myself and giving a voice to what I find.  Letting go of old belief systems and opening up to new.  And all the pain and joy that follows.

Living in the Now

One of my favorite books of all time is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  If you are a person who has constant anxiety, worries, and fears about what’s going on in your life, you have to read this book.  It teaches how to forget about the past and not worry about the future.  Because, if you think about it, neither the past nor the future really exist.  There is no way to go back in time and change the bad things that happened to you in the past, so what good is focusing on them?  Likewise, you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, so why worry about it?  (Of course, this is way easier said than done, especially when you’re a worrywart like me.)

The essence of the message in the book is to live each moment in the now with a peaceful mind.  Instead of focusing on what could or might happen, focus on what you want to happen and allow your mind to dwell on it peacefully.  In order to fully live in the now, you have to have an inner peace knowing that you are ok!  Yes, challenges may come along the way, but it is your attitude towards those challenges that determines whether they will have a positive or negative impact on your life.  Positive leads to positive; negative leads to negative.

A large part of living in the now involves surrendering.  “Let go and let God”, if you will.  You have to let go of all of those worries and fears that are occupying your mind, and focus on just BEing.  If you spend more time throughout the day stuck inside your head with your anxieties and what ifs than you do just breathing and being present, then that is your number one problem keeping you from the good you desire.  We must take time to simply BE.  And it isn’t until the last week or so that I’ve truly realized how important this is.  It’s challenging to stay disciplined, but the inner peace I feel after meditating, praying, or saying my blessings is always worth it.  It’s like my adrenaline gets going after my own spiritual workout.    

A simple affirmation that I say daily to help rid my mind of all anxieties and fears is this (which I got out of a Daily Word reading):

“Do not imagine disastrous scenarios; visualize what you want and allow your mind to dwell on that in peace.”

So if you’re going through some hard times and find your mind consumed with thoughts of worry, lack, fear, or negativity, say this affirmation a couple of times to yourself and then take a couple of minutes to put it into practice.  Close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly, and literally picture in your mind what you want to happen in your particular situation.  Then just sit there at peace for a few minutes - breathing, focusing on that good that you desire.  Allow yourself to feel at peace.  I find that smiling while picturing in my mind all the good I desire works well.  Even if you have to force yourself to smile through tears!  (Which I have had to do on multiple occasions…)  Breathe, listen to your surroundings, and just be.  Take comfort in knowing that you are ok and that all things will work for your good!

This has literally been a lifesaver for me the past several weeks.  Life gets crazy, stressful, and tiresome, but I find that taking a moment to breathe and be at peace helps bring forth positive results in my life.  It will work for you, too!!

Love and blessings,

Kim :)

Good People of the World Unite!

I’m starting this blog because I feel like I’ve come to that point in life where I’ve realized I’m the grown-up.  I’m the adult.  I’m the one who’s supposed to be reading the news, keeping up to date on things.  I’m the one who is supposed to be lobbying policies to Congress and serving my community.  My generation is the one who is quickly gaining control in society.  Before long, it will be my generation filling state representative meetings and leading workshops.  (And, I know I’m a little biased, but I think our generation of people freaking rock.  I mean, seriously, look how awesome we all are!!   I look across my Facebook friends and realize: Wow...I know some really kick ass people!)  I believe that it is our generation that's going to turn this society around.  We’re going to make up for our forefather’s mistakes and turn America into the country we want it to be.  We're going to live healthy, informed, considerate (and hopefully peaceful) lives.

In case you haven’t noticed, this is kind of an important time in the evolution of the human race.  There’s a lot of stuff going on in practically every area of life, and we need to start critically examining it all if we want to make our society better and not worse.  And this goes for far more than only what I will discuss on this blog.  (I don’t intend to dive too deeply into politics or economics, though I’m sure I’ll dabble here and there.) 

A lot of what I post on this blog will have a spiritual tone because spirituality is an integral part of my being.  I’m still trying to figure it all out after having a drastic worldview shift.  However, I hope you’ll find this blog entertaining, relevant, and informative.  And I hope to give an honest voice to the rest of you out there who, like me, just want to do good things in the world.

There are a lot of good people out there.  I've been fortunate enough to share experiences with some really great people.  (Many of whom are probably reading this blog right now.)  Those good people give me faith in humanity and reassure me that we can do this!  We can survive and thrive despite all the challenges we face in our society. 

I’d love for this to be an active space, so please feel free to comment and give your take on things!  We all have important ideas to share.  I want to start a conversation and get people thinking about things – important things!  Don’t spend all your time on the internet watching Ebaum’s World like this guy.  Take a break during the ten minutes of creepiness seen here and read and talk about things that are important.  Then you can go back to Ebaum’s. 

My goal is to start a conversation that turns into action and makes this society all that we believe it can be.

Good people of the world unite!

Welcome!

Welcome to Soliloquy of the Soul!

Please take a moment to read the About section to learn more about this blog and its desired purpose.  

I'll be getting some posts up soon, so follow me and stay tuned!

While you're waiting, check out my personal blog Bu Chronicles and follow my husband and I on our crazy journeys.  (Yeah, cheesy name, I know. But it's my story and my blog, so there!)  Life gets kind of crazy sometimes, but we think it's pretty awesome. :)